You, 2017
You were an interesting endeavour, you lacked the description of Haven, and you lacked its incessant indecisiveness. Maybe it was because through experiencing you, I got to know you, I finally had the clarity to interract with you, and how tangible and real you were, unlike Haven and its illusory tricks of the mind. In that way you came to represent a paradoxical stability, forced by me upon you, in an attempt to contain the chaos that comes from you and surrounds you.
I suppose, however, I didn’t know any better. I thought I knew you, but I didn’t. I tried to contain you, but I couldn’t. Was my attempt maybe just lazy? No.
Sometimes it’s better to embrace the darkness and let its maliciously pleasurable ebb and flow just carry you wherever. I learned that.
I am learning that.
But at that point, I suppose, I didn’t know any better.
So I ran away.
— 2017